Wishing to have his mother living with him while she wishes to live in a deserted place

Q: I have an old mother who has no relatives. I suffer from hemiplegia and live in south Riyadh with my family. I took her to live with me, because she has been living in a deserted place. But afterwards, she kept asking me to return her to her abandoned house. I refused, because I will neither be able to take care of her, nor stay there, since the living conditions there are very hard for a disabled man. On the other hand, life here is better for me and my children; this is why I have become torn out between my circumstances and wonder how to please my mother, who is naive to the extent that she can not recognize the days of the week or the prayers. Therefore, I hope you will provide me with a proper solution to please my mother and overcome my circumstances.


A: If the case is as you have mentioned regarding your mother's condition and yours as well, you can live wherever it becomes convenient for you. You can please your mother by financially supporting her. You can also distract her attention by anything so that she may stop thinking about the idea of returning back to this deserted place where she might be harmed or face difficulties. (Part No. 25; Page No. 129) You should take good care of her, provide for her, and do not obey her in returning to that place as long as she does not have any one else to sustain her there. However, preventing her from going there is not considered an act of disobedience to her, but rather a sort of philanthropizing her and doing what is best for her interest, even if she does not realize it, and her demand to return to such an unsafe place is considered a Munkar (evil) deed, and obedience should always be in Ma`ruf (good).May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.


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