The limits of obedience to parents

A: First: It is obligatory on a Muslim to obey their parents, and to be dutiful and kind to them, as enjoined by the Nas (Islamic texts) from the Qur’an and Sunnah (what was reported from the Prophet). The limits of it are what is reasonable according to a person’s ability, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Obedience is in what is Ma‘ruf (that which is judged as good, beneficial, or fitting by Islamic law and Muslims of sound intellect).” Second: In the lawful and ordinary matters that you know about and your mother does not or that she does not know the consequences of entering into and how to deal with to gain benefits, it is not necessary for you to obey her in these matters, nor will you be considered undutiful to her if you do not obey her. This is based on the general meaning of the saying of the Prophet (peace be upon him), “You know better about your worldly affairs.” Third: It is not necessary for you to obey her in marrying the women she wants you to, if the matter is as you mentioned, and you are doing your best to look for religious women who are daughters of good and righteous Muslim brothers. You will not be undutiful to her because of your disobedience in this, but it is obligatory on you, in all matters, to consider her feelings. You should be kind to her in ways that will give her peace of mind and make her pleased with you and avoid harsh ways. You should do what you see will be of greatest benefit and avoid conflict. (Part No. 25; Page No. 131) May Allah grant us success. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and Companions.